About Me (And My First Encounter With Miss Beth)

I won't go to much into detail about who I am but you should the basics about me. I am the youngest of three boys and grew up in a typical US Midwest middle/upper middle class town. My family is very close and I had a very happy childhood. I was a typical boy as well. I was a very good athlete from my earliest days and absolutely loved playing with the usual toys for boys like G.I. Joe, He-Man, cars, trucks, video games etc. I got good grades in school and outside of a few brush ups, was never in real trouble. And unlike many other little boys, I never thought girls had diseases and was always interest in them. So in that sense, I was pretty normal.But looking back on it, I did have one secret. From a very early age, I had some strange fantasies. Most notably, I always fantasized that I was locked in a tower with my first crush Shannon by our evil teachers. And unlike any other fairy tales, I was not the one that was the hero but Shannon was. She busted us out of the tower, carried me to safety and then defeated the evil teachers.


I really did not know what to make of it as a child. I did have the fantasy a lot of though. It took me decades for me to even tell another human being about it since I thought it was so strange and bizzare. Throughout my adsolscence my submissiveness was kinda on the backburner but it would flare up now and then. Most notably was during an incident when I was 14. My buddies and I had stolen a few pornos from one of our parents closest. We went into my basement (my parents were out along with my two brothers) and watch it. It was your standard porno, nothing out of the norm but being 8th graders, we had the giggles throughout. Nothing of note happen until the final scene. The final scene was a lot different then the rest. It ended with a massive orgy of several Ladies fucking a guy in the ass!

They of course flip out by the sight of it since it was "totally disguisting and went against human nature" and wanted to turn it off. I did not however want to turn it off. I could say that I was intrigue by it and nothing more but that be dishonest. The reality was I turn on very strongly by it. I asked them not too turn it off and they immediately laughed in my face and started calling me degrading homosexual names. I chuckled too at first and said I was only kidding and I was also disguisted by it. When they laughed some more, I stated that we should continue so we can brag at school by what we watched and plus too, the hotttest Women in the video were "dyking out together" while they watch him get pegged. They did agree to that so we did wind up watching the video with them totally turn off except the two Lesbians going at it while I was turn on so much that the buldge in my pants was so huge I had to wait to go upstairs for awhile out of fear my parents would see after they left. I tried to forget the incident right away but I was haunted for a long time by the site and to be perfectically blunt, had to masterbate to the image for a long time.

But like many things, time move on and in high school, I was your atypical jock who was a good football player on a great team and a great lacrosse player on a good team. I workout a lot (it was where I fell in love with the gym and learned how to lift weights), I also wrote for the school newspaper, was on the student council and even became a AP Honors student. Eventually I got a part-time job which afforded me my first car (with some help from mom and dad) and could have been the poster boy for your Middle American Teenager LOL! But like everything else, nothing was quite it appeared. I started to have more and more submissive fantasies but I didn't know what they meant. I first became aware of it when we used to go watch the cheerleaders between our football practice sessions.

We were extremely typical in our discussions as we watched them practice. We used to drool like any other teenage guy would and talked about which one we thought was the hottiest, which one we "like to do the most" and who was dating who and what not. But the more we talked, the more I notice something about the fantasies they were describing was different then mine. While theirs were about just taking the Girls and having sex with them, mine were about what the Girls could do to me. Most notably, I would stare at their toned musuclar legs and image them squeezing me to near death in my basement while I begged for them to stop. I also imagine them laughing at my pathetic weakness and forcing me to kiss their feet in order for them to show mercy. I also notice I was staring at the girls feet all the time and I didn't even like feet! As a matter of fact, I hated my own but yet I couldn't help myself. I wanted to worship them in the worst way.

But again, I ignore it just like the pegging porno and move on though not all the way.....at least subconsciously I didn't. That can be best described in who became my high school sweetheart. At the beginning of my junior year, I began dating my first love a sophomore by the name of Shiela. She was a lot like me at that time. Sheila was also an AP Honors student and an athlete (swimming and diving). We got along very well and She treated me very well. I also treated Her very well and wanted to be a "Southern Gentleman" for Her.

I would escort Her to class by carrying Her books, I would always open and close doors for Her, I would drop Sheila off at the door whenever we went and it was raining, eventually I would take Her to school and drop Her off etc. There were times when I even would take Her shoes on/off particularly when She come over to my house (we spent a lot of time in that basement having a lot of fun!). I would eventually lose my virginity to Sheila and vice versa. But again, I did not think anything of it. I didn't understand that I was submissive to Women therefore I ignore it.

And once again, time moved on and I went off to college. Sheila decided we would still continue to date but it would be more looser (another sign I was submissive, She made that decision but I thought nothing of it at the time). We eventually called it quits after my Sophomore year. It had been a wonderful four years but both of us were ready to move on. She is still friends with me to this day. My college years were also very typical. I joined a frat, again wrote for the school newspaper, spent a lot of time at the gym and eventually got my degree in architecture. I dated here and there including a few Ladies semi-serious but nothing of note. About the strongest relationship I had was with one of my best friends cousins. It was long distance relationship and we had a lot of fun together yet nothing ever came out of it. So there I was, everything on the surface seemed quite normal. But it wasn't. Quite frankly, I was finding out I was more and more submissive then though I didn't know what it meant. I began looking up mixed wrestling on the internet and imagine myself the one getting his ass kick by the strong Woman. I really began to get into Female bodybuilders and began exploring the world of S&M. But yet again, I didn't really know what it all meant. I figured I was just "experiencing" stuff since it was college and it was the right time to do that. I enjoyed drinking (but wasn't crazy into it like many of my frat brothers) but never experimented with drugs or anything like that. What I did experiment though was my first experience being dominated by a Woman. It happened during the Spring Break of my Junior year (but I will save that for my next installment).

Yet to sound like a broken record, I ignored the event (and the other time it happened down the road) and just passed it on as a "one time thing". Eventually I would graduate and take a job as an intern at a large architectural firm (which lead to me getting hired full-time there). I didn't think much of being submissive anymore. I was happy to have a huge opportunity at a great firm. Everything was going great until I meet a Woman through the firm. Her name was Natalie and She was a consultant for us. I remember shaking Her hand on our first introduction and remember having electricity run through me. Yes, She was older then me (a good 11 years) but I was undaunted in my persuit of Her even though it could jeporidize my internship and possibly my career. I didn't care though. She was a Blonde Leg Goddess and all my fantasing about strong Woman the past several years was wrapped up in this woman.

So I pursued. I pursued harder and with more intensity then any Woman I ever went after. What does She do? Natalie completely blows off my advances like I was a child. She was a powerhouse Woman who had no use for this "cute kid" as She called me. We talk a lot and were very friendly but whenever I brought up the possibility of seeing each other outside the office, She blew me off like I wasn't even a fly. But I kept on pursuing, willing to do whatever it took to get Her to see me. I just wanted to be around Her.

Natalie's mere presence was like a drug that I was addicted too. Eventually, I asked Her what She had planned for the weekend. She told me that Saturday was Her errand day so She be busy. I ask if She wanted me to come. Natalie at first laugh at the notion saying I was crazy but I kept saying I would love to go. She said I could if I agreed to do the "dirty work". I accepted with such glee I nearly jump into the ceiling. That Saturday, we went out for lunch and then shopping at the mall. We had a great time as we found out we had more in common then we thought. We laughed a lot as we got to know each other better. She was quite pleasant and sweet but in total control. When I went to order my lunch, Natalie quickly told me to order something else that She believed was better and I did.

While shopping as well, I obviously open and closed all doors, dropped Her off so She wouldn't have to walk and carried Her bags. We eventually came back to Her house where I unloaded Her bags and was hoping for a goodbye kiss or maybe stay around a bit . Instead, She hands me a bucket with a sponge and soap and with absolute no excitment at all but rather cold hard facts stated "You just begun hun" and pointed to Her car. She went inside and fixed Herself a drink as I clean Her car with everything I had. I made sure to get every kook and cranny plus waxing and polishing it. When I came inside (She left the door open for me and only had the screen closed), She called from the living room "Thanks hun but now scrub the floors and will go from there". I looked up to find all I needed to scrub the floors. My back and shoulders hurt at the sight of it but I quickly got over it. As I scrubbed, I could not believe I was doing it. Here I was this Alpha Male being used like a housemaid for this woman. But I wanted Her so badly, that I didn't even care. It took a few hours but I cleaned the floors to the point they sparkled. I called out to say I was finished and She instructed me to go to the bathroom and "freshen up". As I did, Natalie went around and inspected my work. After I freshened up, She called out to me that I done "a good job and earned the right to now join Her on the couch". I was so exicted I nearly spirited there. 

As I turned around the bend, I notice all the lights where off and it was dark (the sun had gone down after all those hours of work and Natalie turned off all the lights). She instruct me to stop and said I could proceed only if I could took off all my clothes. A lump in my throat kicked in and I thought about chickening out but my lust for Natalie was too strong therefore I stripped down rather quickly and continued. She then flick the light on and reveal Herself sitting on top of the couch wearing this goregous short white dress.

 It stopped me dead in my tracks as my naked cock immediately sprang up. I walk closer up to Her before Natalie told me to stop. She stood up and inspected me from top to bottom. "Very strong" She said, "But it needs a lot of work". She then pushed me to the ground and immediately straggled my body. I was imtimidated by Her so much that I looked away but She slapped me and told me to stare into Her eyes. I shooked my head and listened. She then began to tear me apart verbally as well as physically.

She knew that I was not the Alpha Male that I portrayed myself to be around Women but instead this sad lonely submissive in desperate need of a dominate Woman to take charge of me. She also told me about She knew that while every man in our meetings look at Her legs and imagined sex, I look at Her legs and imagine worshipping them and being knock out cold by Her squeeze. And what scared me the most? My responses. I did not deny any of them. As a matter of fact, all I really said was "Yes Miss Natalie". I never been told to respond like that, it just came out naturally. She continued with my interrogation asking all kinds of humiliating and degrading questions that cut to my soul. I answered them honestly and with total humilation. Natalie finally told me about how I needed to be broken and though "Her stable was full" at the moment, Natalie was going to make an exception for me (She later told me one of the reasons why was because unlike most guys I had not only been sweet and nice while I tried to court Her, I been respectful of Her). After that, Natalie began to bend and twist in positions I never been in before. She was testing how much I could take and instructed me all the while. She gave me the rules of our new relationship with Her as my Mistress and me as Her sub.

She would become in total control of me and I was no longer to ask Her out or anything like that. She would do all of that. I also could never speak of any relationship we might have with anyone in our business. If I did, She would blackmail me. I agreed to Her terms and She continued to make me beg for mercy. I eventually began to worship Her body including with pleasuring Her orally. Afterwards, we made out on the couch for awhile and watch a movie before She kicked me out. Our relationship lasted for nearly six months but never exclusively. Natalie saw other men including Her other subs in Her stable. I did not see anyone else though per orders. She taught me on the do's and dont's of being a sub, how to address, walk, talk, act around a superior Woman. She also pushed my boundaries in the kink dept and eventually, gave me the pleasure of having sex with Her. Well rather, more like Mistress Natalie raped me and I enjoyed it like no other! I got used to a lot of things including seeing a Woman I care for greatly see and sleep with other men and learned to become a submissive mate. I truly was happy but regrettably, it wasn't meant to last.

Natalie soon after the New Year got a transfer halfway across the country and distance was too much. She ended our relationship but we remained in contact and even saw me a few times whenever She was in town and used me. I was really saddened by our breakup though I never really thought it was meant to be something long lasting. And that gave me the excuse to say it was "1-time thing". I yet again denied my submissivness and went back looking for a vanilla relationship. I would fine one with this great Woman named Kelly. We began seeing each other the summer after Natalie had ended our D/S relationship. And everything was great, well on the surface it was. We really clicked right away. We seemed to be the perfect match. Kelly was sexy, smart, funny and sweet. We wound up dating for 3 years and seemed destined to get married.

But it didn't happen. I was kinda kicking my feet on getting married. I said it was because I wanted to make sure I was financially secure and that was sorta true. But the real reason was because I wasn't quite sure if Kelly was the right one for me. Looking back, it was me needing a dominate Woman but Kelly and I were in a vanilla relationship. You might be wondering why I never told Her about my submissive side. The truth was I was too ashamed therefore She never knew of Mistress Natalie, my fantasies when I was younger or the time I was dominated in college. Kelly IMO realized I had cold feet and when a job of a lifetime popped up in Atlanta, GA.....She took it. I thought about asking Her to marry me in order for Her to stay but realized I just being doing it for the sake of doing it. We tried to date long distance but eventually we "took a break" and never started dating again. We have stayed in contact over the years and She gone on to do many amazing things and recently got married.

At this time, I had reached a turning point in my life. I began to do some soul searching and realized that my dabbles into being submissive were more then just that. I thought about how happiest I was and realized it was when the service of a Superior Woman. I decided that from here on out, I was going to concentrate on my career (which had stalled out a bit), finishing my Master's Degree (which was taking longer then it should have even though I was just a part-time night student) and I would not get into a serious relationship until I found a Dominate Woman. I stayed on that course for over 2 years. In that, my career began to take off as I climb up the company ladder, I finished my Master's Degree and even got into the best shape of my life. But for 2 years, I was alone. I dated hardly anyone outside of some disaster blind dates as every Woman I meet didn't seem to be a true Domme. Or at least, someone I wanted to truly submitted too. I started to think that maybe I be alone for good and prepare myself for it. In this time, I was tempted to see a perfessional Dominatrix but never did it. I did read a lot about being a sub and being in a FLR. I continued to search and finally it happen...just when I wasn't looking.

One day, I was working out on a cross-trainer when the most goregous powerful young brunette Woman I ever seen came by. The entire gym was staring at Her. Her presence was that powerful. But out of some miracle, She stopped at my cross trainer. I couldn't believe my luck! I looked up and smiled which She returned. But then it got better. She started to talk to me. She said hello and introduce Herself as Beth..one of the new trainers. I quickly wiped my hand off and made sure it was dry before shaking Her hand and responding by welcoming Her to the gym and my name was Matt. When our hands meet, I felt a electricity unlike I ever felt. It even blew away the tingles I got when I shook Mistress Natalie's hand for the first time. We talked for a bit and even had a few laughs. She told me about Herself and I was suprised by how much She talked about Herself. It was a total turn on. She was only 22 at the time but Her confidence, self-assurance and maturity where that of a Woman twice Her age. I wanted to drop down on my knees right then and there but obviously I didn't.

Our conversasion continued so well that I wanted to talk with Her forever but we were interrupted by a pretty redhead with very athletic muscles. She came up and apologized for the interruption but informed Beth that Her new client had just checked in and was getting dressed. I wiped my hand again hoping Beth was going to shake my again before She left (Miss Beth did) but I noticed She took my hand and ended the discussion the way She wanted too with Her saying it was a pleasure meeting me and perhaps we can talk again sometime. I watch Her away but then realized I had another Woman in my presence. I turn my attention to Her as She introduce Herself. Her name was Diana and was working here for the summer before going to graduate school. I introduce myself to Her as well, we shook hands..again more electricity but not quite the same as Beth. We chatted for a few minutes and She was very friendly. Before She left, I ask how long She knew Beth. She responded by saying, "I know Beth since we were five. We are best friends". I then smiled and we ended our conversasion similiarly to what Beth did to me. I then knew what I mission was. I knew that I wanted to be with Beth for the rest of my life. I didn't know how, I didn't know why I felt that way but I knew it. I knew that I wasn't going to find happiness until Beth was my mate and if it meant moving heaven and earth in order for that too happen, I was up to the task! It was truly love at first sight. But I knew in order for that too happen, something else needed to happen first. I needed to get a powerful ally on my side and get to know about Beth before I could really ask Her out. What I needed to do was get to know Miss Diana and become friends with Her.

And we will leave it there for now!

Note: It should be noted that the following DID NOT happen with either Mistress Natalie or the other Superior Woman who dominated me:

1. I never kneeled before Them.
2. They never collared me.
3. They never peg me.

I always wonder why They didn't do that, especially Mistress Natalie whose had tons of men kneel at Her feet, collared them and pegged them. I obviously verbally submitted to Her and was Her sub but never did those three things. Not too long ago, I emailed Mistress Natalie (with Miss Beth's permission) and ask Her about it. Mistress Natalie emailed back saying She didn't do those three things because while She liked me and care for me greatly, She realized that it was never going to be love between us and should be saved for my true domme to come along. Even in this, a Woman shows Her superiority. :)